These last 6 weeks have been pretty difficult for me, mainly because I’ve been traveling for work just about each week.  This is the culprit of this neglected blog, an outrageous eating out bill, and also feeling a bit lost with where God is taking me.

Last Sunday, I was convicted at Church that I’ve been viewing these weeks as “suffering”, instead of one big trial that has the opportunity to show me more of God.

I’ve also realized I’m the type of person who likes to have control, especially when it comes to my spiritual walk.  I have set devotion time in the morning, a trusty cup of coffee, a 20 minute morning commute when I can sing to God, Wednesday night bible study, and church on Sunday.

As I realize what has made me inflate these weeks as “suffering” instead of what they were, I see that God wanted to turn my perspective of him upside down. He wanted to implode the little box I place him in, and he wanted to help show that I’m always in His presence, even when I can’t check off my little boxes of “God time”.

This morning I read a quote that said, “the chief benefit of God’s forgiveness is the very presence of God”.  This has stuck with me.  The chief benefit of me feeling distant, the chief benefit of having my routine turned upside down and shaken – is so that I would realize God’s forgiveness and so that I’d be once again in the presence of God.