Lately my prayer has been for God to give me more of his work, and for me to be more obedient to the Holy Spirit to just do whatever it is. This prayer came out of the ongoing cycle of praying and searching for God’s will, only to realize the cycle of my life remained the same. I woke up, went to work, cooked dinner, woke up. The only real disturbance in this order has been holidays, and for the last few weeks travel for work – both things that have made me feel further from God.
What I came to realize is that God’s will isn’t a mystery – it’s spelled out clearly over and over in the Bible. There are specific instructions like “Feed my Sheep”, where God challenges me to meet material and spiritual needs of others around me. Then Jesus simply says “Follow me” to his closest disciples – and that challenges me to continue pursuing a personal relationship with Jesus even when I can’t see the full picture of where we are going together.
But surely it has to be more complicated than that? Surely, I must receive a firm plan from God before I start. I have to have angels come down and deliver the message, right?
What I am realizing is my constant prayer to God with inactivity following wasn’t his doing but mine. I desperately asked for his will, without being ready or willing to get my hands dirty or inconveniencing myself with it. I wanted a life known for God – but I was unwilling to give my time, my talent, my heart. This deep seeded sin unfortunately was masked in prayer and pleading for his will.
Looking to the Lord’s prayer gives me even more direction. Jesus prayed “For thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven”. Am I really asking God for his kingdom here on earth? Or am I asking him for ways to make my earthly life more bearable? Am I praying for a higher “calling” in life – when he’s already given me all the instructions and examples I need?
God’s patience with me is great. He always brings me back to a place of better understanding, and immediately begins on something else in me. I continue to pray that his will be done and I would respond in obedience – regardless of what that does to my life. I pray that he would take away comfort and ease if he so choose. Let me stop groveling to understand what perfect action I should choose to show my obedience – but learn to give my entire life. And when giving my entire life seems way too much to give, let me rest on the truth that “anything is possible with God”.
For those of you reading – I’d love to hear of where you are at with your walk with God. What is he telling you? What directions has he already told you through the Scriptures that you aren’t stepping out in faith in?